Deadlands 2016 @ Mika's

Spiders on a train
And the dangers of being innocent

Me and Elric had made our way to Dodge city. Apparently some guy was hiring us to do some work, and “some guy” is all we really knew about him. Elric thought it was a great opportunity to both find out more about the supernatural and to earn some cash. Not sure why just yet.

We met our new asssociates there, a strange looking man by the name of Hades Aurumvale who seems to have an obsession with cards, and a rather shady looking man who claims to work for the agency.. Jackson Sawyer. I’m not really sure what I think of them.

The telegraph with our orders on read as follows;

Western Union
A map is being transported on B.I. express to Denver. STOP. Imperative you retrieve it. STOP. Map being carried by courier, identity unknown. STOP. Expect resistance. STOP. Discretion encouraged. STOP. Await further instructions in Denver. STOP.

So with that, we set out. We boarded the train at the station, after loading our horses in to the rear storage compartments and ensuring that out weapons, which had lawfully been withheld, were also on board for later retrieval.

We relaxed for about 10 minutes, until we were out of city limits and then myself and Jackson split off to go and collect our weapons with the goal of scouting the train carriages out for any signs of this map. I believe Elric and Hades went off to play cards, or something. I guess we can’t all be productive. I think they managed to piss off some french guy called Pierre by beating him.

There was a guard at the weapons storage, I pretended that I had lost my tickets in order to get him to allow us inside and continued to keep him occupied with pointless questions and requests as Jackson searched the carriage, but we found no signs of any map. So we left.

As I made my way back towards our seats, I heard the sound of the train being robbed as armed men began to sweep through the train, I noticed Hades and pulled him back in to my carriage for safety where we lay in wait, ready to defend ourselves. They waltzed in to our little trap without any forethought, I instantly took a life with a clean shot. Unfortunately there were civilians here, that didn’t quite know how things work in this situation and got caught by stray bullets.

It was here I witnessed Hades unique and curious powers, he seemed to throw a deck of cards at the bandits and they simply eviscerated everything they came in contact with, destroying the side wall of the train along with another bystander. At least they managed to take out some of the bandits. I finished the last guy off with another neat, clean shot. I’m not sure I’m too keen of Hades’ messy approach. Learn to aim, would be great advice!

At this point I heard sounds further down the train, towards where Jackson was. I later found out he was under attack by strange, clockwork machinations in the form of spiders. I think he had it under control. Although, the train connections were severed and the storage area was now slowly slipping away, separated from the rest of the train.. our poor horses included.

The bandits we had taken out weren’t the only ones, however. I decided to retreat towards Jackson and Hades initially followed. Turns out he had lost his gun after Elric threw it to him earlier. He made the ridiculous decision to head TOWARDS the bandits to go and retrieve it. Aided by some kind of magical card whirlwind. As I expected, this got him seriously wounded when the bandits burst through the doors and clipped him with bullets. I had no choice but to drop in cover and try to help, taking a couple out with clean shots.

It was here I heard the screams of a child from the next carriage. I later found out that somehow, a child had her face melted off by the clockwork spiders and that it was totally unavoidable. Elric and Jackson were still in there fighting. I took a stray bullet in my arm, it stung like a bitch, I didn’t have time to deal with it then and there, I’d have to hold out until it was safe.

Things then got confusing, as a few new guys burst in to the carriage I was in from behind, tearing a path straight forwards with the speed and agility of a horse on race day. The lead guy only succeeded in taking friendly fire, his so called ally caught him with a bullet square in the back of his head. As he stood there, stunned, Hades convinced him to give up his efforts and leave, having screwed up so badly. Turns out, the guy who was shot had a map on him, hopefully the one we were hired to find.. this job already seems too messy for my liking, I wonder how much of this bloodshed could have been avoided? Ah well, I guess that’s just the west for you.

PTO (Session end)

Why we shouldn't leave loose ends
and those who love trains

It turns out, some of the “new” guys who had burst in to the train carriage were actually detectives, named Cooper, Erza and Zeke.. All of them from the Pinkerton detective agency. They left pretty quickly, having failed at their task of protecting the courier – the guy with the map we found, just now.

The train robbers came from Utah, it seems. We questioned the surviving bandit, Claire for a while before deciding to hand him in at the Denver station when we arrived.

Jackson took a good look at the map in question and he claims that it’s written in Old Norse, whatever that means. Oh, and that it’s written on human skin. Not sure I really want to know where it came from or why anymore.

I did my best to patch people up after this incident, but I think I need either a little training or a little practice. A qualified Doctor on board managed to patch up the bits I missed. I paid close attention.. hopefully some of it sticks.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a rather well dressed and fancy looking gentleman by the name of Urias Thornden approached us. Dressed in an immaculate white suit and carrying a diamond tipped cane, the white haired older gentlemen twiddled his mustache as he made an offer. Based almost entirely on the way we handled ourselves in the previous firefight. (Which is surprising, as we almost all got shot). He paid us a few hundred dollars up front to go and find his son, Stjon Thornden who has been missing for over a month. The last he had heard, was when Stjon asked for $6,000 a month ago for his latest engineering project. He had hired a private investigator named Ned Grayson, and had also lost contact with him.

We agreed, and shortly thereafter arrived at the Black River Station in Denver. We handed over our prisoner to the local law, and made our way in to town. Just outside the station we met our contact for the map job, Mr Persons. He paid our fee, took the map, and left.

We all went to do our own business here, I believe Jackson went to send a telegram to his family and I hit the streets trying to find out about Stjon but all I could discover was that he flaunted his money somewhat regularly, and recently disappeared. Nothing new here.

Hades, however, had more luck. He gambled his way in to the knowledge that Stjon had been working with Hobarth Ironmongers, over on the East side of town.

Elric had gone to assist the Union Blue railroad company with basic maintenance in the hopes of coming upon some information. It seems he was approached by a strange fellow, offering Elric an invite to some kind of meeting on Friday at the Saddletank Saloon.

We let five days pass, for some of our injuries to recover and to get a feel for the town and the situation. Urias had found us, wanting an update. We didn’t have much to go on, but somehow managed to talk our way in to remaining employed.

We then made our way to the #10 Saloon, on the information we had previously received stating it was where Ned Grayson was last staying. I coaxed the bartender in to parting with Mr Grayson’s belongings, since he hadn’t been seen in so long.

It contained a few items;

  • 1/2 a cigar box
  • An epitaph camera, with five slates. Three were blank, one contained a bizarre image of what looked to be a symbol of the Denver railroad, and the other an image of a dark railroad track covered in dismembered hands and feet, with rope along the tracks.
  • A note book, containing newspaper clippings about ghost steel theft from Hobarth Ironmongers, a matchbook from the Saddletank Saloon, and some clippings about kidnappings in the area.

A few guys at the bar took offence to us being foreign. As is becoming a trend, the entire thing was solved with poker. Then, Elric stunned them with his glove for some reason, and we all left. We made our way to the Saddletank Saloon. We watched the place for an hour. It’s a pretty dirty place, not one I’d choose to spend any time in.

Without having much choice in the matter, we made our way inside. The reception was.. icy cold. We were on the verge of being kicked out when Elric managed to persuade the barkeep with his knowledge of trains, and we were allowed to stay for a drink. We got the impression they were hiding something, and we felt certain that we noticed the floor being hollow.. we’ll have to go back later..

As we made our way back to “the fancy hotel”, we were set about by six armed men, who barred our way. As they went for their pistols, Hades went for his cards. Yes, really. If this book is ever found by Jackson I imagine it will be burnt. He seems to want to keep this magic stuff quiet. Anyway, the cards whipped up another little whirlwind cloud. Honestly, it was annoying. We couldn’t see, they couldn’t see, no one could do much. I made the sound decision to step outside of it, one shared by our enemy. A man came in to view, one shot, I took him out clean. Then another, with another clean shot. The rest of the attackers were taken out within the storm, mostly. Though I think Jackson is another smart thinker like me, having stepped out of another side. We managed to take one of the men hostage. It turns out, they were all hired, on the cheap, by Pierre. This is why I don’t like to leave behind enemies I make. No loose ends, it’s the only way to be safe.

The law, of course, came to investigate us. We told the truth, and were free to go. Well, almost, for reasons I can only attribute to his slightly warped mind, Elric told them some strange and confusing falsities for no real reason. Somehow, we didn’t get arrested.

Myself and Jackson chose to sleep, Hades and Elric went off to do whatever it is they like to do, gambling and science, I suppose.

The next morning, Elric and Hades informed us that they had actually found Stjon on their late night romp at a train event. Why their idiocy keeps paying off is something I will never understand! However, after meeting him, they chose to let him go. Trusting in his word, need I remind you – the word of a man apparently in hiding – that he would come and find us later on.

We probably lost our best lead.

I guess we can only move on.

Is it just me? Am I crazy? They told someone who was clearly trying not to be found, that they had found him, now he will just.. make himself.. un-found? I don’t understand foreigners.

In other business, myself and Jackson had located a lead on Pierre, at the Bella Union, down the street. It didn’t take us long to find him. I was of the mindset along with Elric to have him followed, and dealt with. Hades and Jackson decided to bet on a game of poker, with the loser having to leave town. Not my personal choice.. I mean, why leave something to chance when you have the ability to control the outcome so clearly as with a rifle? Hades won, I mean, he never loses. I’m certain his magic allows him to cheat. I personally followed Pierre until he boarded a train to leave town.

We made our way to Hobarth Ironmongers next, choosing to investigate the theft of the ghost steel railings. We spoke to Ma Hobarth, and it seems the original orders for the steel were placed by none other than Stjon himself, almost all having been paid for bar the most recent, and largest, shipment. This was the shipment being stolen, piece by piece. Ma asked us to find Stjon and collect the payment owed. Jackson investigated the warehouse and found a hole in the wall you’d have to have been blind to miss, really. Dusty footprints covered the area, this was clearly how they were stealing the railings.

Elric patched the hole up in no time, as insane as I sometimes fear he is, he certainly does have his skill set. I didn’t see myself doing this when I was forced to leave Annapolis. We make a good pair. Somehow.

I know, right?

Not-a-toy trainsets
and an engine of destruction

We decided to investigate the train depot we’d read about in the invoice to Stjon Thornden regarding the ghost steel thefts. Depot 512.

Upon entering the warehouse, we immediately came across a small amount of the stolen ghost steel, but there wasn’t enough to account for all of the thefts. This place seemed like some kind of train graveyard, it was absolutely filled with trains in states of disrepair and decay. One in particular stood out. It was completely covered in what looked like magic runes and symbols, most of which had been painstakingly precision engineered. The wheels of this train were covered in splattered, dried blood. Elric headed inside to sabotage it so that it could not be used in any future nefarious deeds.

In a nearby carriage we found signs that people had been living here recently. Roughly twelve men at a guess. This carriage also contained a strange railway shrine, with tracks running upwards toward the ceiling and surrounded by lit candles.

We headed towards the back of the shed, to a little workshop filled with tools. Most of which looked like they had been poorly cleaned, but still were covered in dry blood. I took watch here, as it felt like a vulnerable position.

The others headed inside and split up to search. Elric found a strange magical train wheel circle on the ground, whilst Hades and Jackson found a huge map which was filled with train times. The magic circle looked like some kind of map, pointing to a large convergence point outside of town.

I then noticed some kind of strange train machination approaching.

It bellowed “You’ve reached the end of the line” before opening fire using a Gatling gun built in to it’s right arm. I dived for cover, but was grazed by a couple of bullets causing some damage. Hades lept to my defence, covering me with his crazy card whirlwind thing. I am growing more fond of him lately. A firefight ensued. The weird trainbot was spraying bullets all over the place, I had ducked down for cover, worrying more about my wounds for the time being.

After the initial shock, and a few seconds later, Elric lept out from the workshop in an epic attempt to destroy the thing with dynamite. It was epic, kind of. As the dynamite flew towards the trainbot and.. was immediately deflected to a spot far behind Elric. He came under fire as I tried to take the thing out with rifle shots. As per usual, I didn’t miss.. but even my .45 cal rifle bullets couldn’t penetrate it’s thick armour.

Then, in a fearless display of heroism that actually bore fruit – Elric charged the trainbot, using his glove device to stun it repeatedly, keeping it held in place repeatedly which bought Jackson the opportunity to riddle it with bullet holes as Hades whipped out his Derringer to fire a shot directly in to the trainbots face, at which point some kind of self destruct mechanism triggered, and it passed not-so-peacefully in to the afterlife. Well, it probably didn’t have a soul.

Hades used the epitaph camera to take a nice artistic photo of the ruined trainbot. Elric went back in to the workshop, and found that dripping his own blood on to the magic circle caused it to turn in to some kind of weird visual, and live, map of the train network. He inquisitively flicked one of the trains made from blood, which was running down some tracks.. made from blood. It popped. He then decided to scrub out the circle, so no one else could use it.

As we leave, and head back to “the fancy hotel”, we find out there’s been a terrible train crash. It turns out this train correlated with the same train Elric had popped on the magic circle. I can’t actually blame him for causing this.. I mean, we don’t know anything about blood magic. How could he have known? It’s in his nature to experiment. Jackson went to collect our horses.

As we neared another hotel, the “Southern Belle”, the railroad police approached us. Some engineers had shot up the hotel and taken a man we think was Urias Thornden. I hope it wasn’t Elric or Hades who made it public where Urias was staying whilst they went to the train event the other night. We also had a brief chat with an extravagantly dressed man in a giant 12 gallon hat. We think he was a Texas ranger. He didn’t say much and didn’t give his name.

We then mounted our horses, and headed towards the convergence point we’d seen on the blood map.

We came to a huge rock face, with what appeared to be a long ghost steel railroad headed in to it.. like, directly in to the rock face. Where it ended. In a wall. The starting point was also the middle of nowhere, with nothing connecting it to anything else. A nearby water tower had a confident preacher atop it, behind a church pulpit. Quite a large crowd had gathered. It was then, we noticed..

Urias Thornden was tied to the tracks.

Best laid plans
and why not to make them near Hades and Elric

Upon seeing the grisly scene previously mentioned, we dropped down and scoped the place out.

We came up with a plan; we were going to use dynamite to distract as much of the crowd as possible, with myself hiding out, in case we needed cover fire for anything. Meanwhilst, the rest of the party would head in from behind and free Urias, our goal here was to rescue him after all – not to wipe out some crazy cult.

Of course, no plan survives contact with Elric and Hades, who decided they would attempt to disguise themselves as cultists. I’m still not sure why they wanted to do that. We didn’t need information or subterfuge, just a distraction, and they were the wrong kind, causing the cultists to focus their attention centrally instead of where the dynamite would go off.

It didn’t take them long to screw everything up, and they had their weapons taken and the cultists began to escort them in to a warehouse.

I had no choice but to blow the dynamite and begin taking guys out from my hidden position in order to save them. I aimed and fired, taking out a few guys in succession, but the sheer numbers made things difficult. Elric began using his device and Hades used his cards to destroy the water tower and a firefight ensued. I could see Jackson somewhere in the back attempting, in vain, to carry out our original mission.

I watched as the leader of the cultists, who appeared to be Stjon, but covered in railway spikes which were sticking out of his skin, set about attacking Elric and Hades with a giant wrench, Elric dived valiantly to Hades’ defence, taking a few blows for him using his mechanical armour.

A crazy magical train appeared, coming along the tracks out of the damn wall! It utterly obliterated poor Urias. I guess we’re not getting paid. Somewhere up on the ridge, the texas ranger we had seen before appeared and began trying to help us with cover fire. It didn’t go well, he took some bullets.

Then, things went to hell. I tried to cover Jackson as I watched him being beaten unconscious by a particularly resilient cultist. Hades and Elric were seriously wounded, and then using some kind of train magic, Stjon teleported right next to me and begin chasing me down. I emptied all my rounds in to him to slow him down but to no avail, he seemed unstoppable. The next thing I knew, it all went black..

and why?

When I awoke, I saw that I was in some kind of box, which turned out to be a boarded up train car in depot 512. Elric was here with me, as was a strange Indian woman named Nakomi. Elric made a few attempts to escape whilst I felt too weak to struggle. He managed to earn himself a beating or two due to the noise he made. He didn’t give up.

There was no sign of Hades’. He later informed me that he had fled the scene to go and round up a posse in town. He had gone to the #10 saloon with the Texas Ranger, Ace Norman. He managed to find Ned Grayson and a few others before he took them all shopping for guns, then made their way to the depot.

The woman from before, Sydney, who had watched Elric murder her son was one of the guards tasked with keeping watch over us. She cut off Elric’s ear. During the distraction Elric was providing, Nakomi and myself were able to get free from our restraints, although we still had our wrists bound. Nakomi used some strange chanting to help cure me of most of my wounds, something to investigate later for sure.

Together we burst out of the train carriage. I strangled Sydney with the chains attached to my wrist as Elric and Nakomi took care of the other guard on watch. We managed to free ourselves using the keys.

I interrogated Sydney, or rather I should say that I had a civil conversation with her in which I persuaded her that it was in her best interests to cooperate. She called the magical train that had been summoned “the perfect locomotive.” There were six other cultists in this depot and we found out where our weapons were stored. I chose to sneak off in an attempt to find them, Elric did the same but.. well, we know how that usually turns out. He fled from the guards he had attracted as myself and Nakomi rushed over to the weapons storage.

Nakomi then continued to show her value, throwing a tomahawk straight in to the face of one of the guys chasing Elric and beating on the other with her huge club. I took steady aim and dispatched two others that rounded the corner.

It was then, that Hades’ and his new adventuring party burst in to the depot. All the noise had roused Stjon and his friends who came to attack us. I got my revenge when I shot Stjon straight in the chest and took him out. The man who killed Jackson also fell in this battle.

Elric and Hades left to investigate Stjon’s corpse and perform an impromptu autopsy. We also discovered that they had kept Jackson’s corpse here, so we made good use of his stuff. Including the gun that had been attached to his arm. Past tense. He also had an Agency ID. We decided afterwards to destroy the depot for good using dynamite. Hades’ new party and the Texas ranger agreed. We headed back to our hotel.

Elric managed to fix the gatling gun up and even attached a shotgun to it. We argued for a while about whether or not we should keep it, or sell it. He should know it’s useless to resist me by now. I sold it to a nice man in a gun store for just under double what it was actually worth.

A telegram for Jackson had arrived from the Agency. Hades’ sent a message to the Tombstone Epitaph offering them a story for sale.

Mr Persons arrived shortly afterwards, he had a new job for us. We were to head north, to Michigan. The map we had found before pointed there and we were to investigate.

A not so sunny day
and a sprinkling of the undead

The translated map gave us a little bit of information; it supposedly leads to the wreck of Sigurd Ragnasson’s ship. An old Norseman from the past. We were after some weird “vane” thing, it was supposed to manipulate the weather.

It took us a week to make our way up to Traverse City, and we booked a stagecoach from there to take us up to Treddell’s Calling. The trip would take us about 5 hours. The closer we got, the more aware we became of strange storms, the weird part is that they covered Treddell’s Calling, and Treddell’s Calling alone. Apparently they had been going on for tens of years now. The borderline between the sun and the rain was almost as clear cut as the difference between day and night. Fortunately, most of us had packed some extra ponchos to handle the weather.

The coach couldn’t take us all the way due to the mud so we made our way on foot. It didn’t take us long to reach Treddell’s Calling, a shoddy looking run down town in the apparent center of the storm. It was sparsely covered by hastily produced barricades. We approached and spoke to an elderly couple called Cyrus and Dominica. Apparently the town had been under attack by the dead – something myself and Elric had experience with. Although oddly, they were apparently.. Vikings. I’m not making this up. I guess it makes sense in a way, we were looking for a Viking shipwreck.

Do zombies ever make sense? Is that a thing?

In the rundown building we had taken shelter in, we spoke to a scientist named Martin. He had suffered some severe injuries and his mother was caring for him. Hades’ sold them one of the magical elixirs he had picked up in town, and Martin made quite a rapid recovery. Martin admitted that he had been trying to reanimate the dead.. for science. Elric was pretty pissed off by this abuse of science. I mean.. I’ve seen some weird experiments going on in Elric’s lab, and the stuff he does in his free time? Let’s not even go there. I guess, to me, accidentally creating the undead is just one of many possible consequences of the weird sciences.

Elric was ordered out of the room, so he went to spruce up the barricades. He did a pretty good job, from what I heard.

Some new guy entered whilst I and Nakomi were talking to Martin. He called himself “Raff”. He claimed to be a good shot, and we were feeling pretty low on manpower so we accepted his help in our investigations. He has something odd about one of his eyes. I’m not sure what I think of him.

The undead had apparently been coming down from the Manor primarily. We decided due to the late hour that we would help fend off the first wave of the monstrosities and then head up to the manor.

It didn’t take long for night to fall, and the undead to attack. With the upgraded barricades and the aid of the townsfolk, we cleared them out with ease. I definitely need to check the sights on my gun, I’ll get round to that tomorrow. Hitting the heads of the zombies is definitely tricky. They move in such an erratic fashion. Elric managed to blow a few up using dynamite. I’m just amazed he isn’t dead.

We made our way to the manor. Elric burst in through the front door. We spoke to an old man who’s name I didn’t catch. He apparently had some odd guests but was happy for us to come inside once we persuaded him that we were there to help.

Elric and Hades made their way in to the basement where Martin’s lab was, to investigate. Raff, Nakomi and I stayed upstairs. Raff and Nakomi explored the library and I decided to sneak about with the goal of finding the aforementioned guests.

I found them.

I wasn’t very sneaky.

They set about attacking me right away. I stumbled backwards towards Nakomi, seeking help. I kinda like Nakomi, actually. I find her calming. A little pool of sanity in the ever increasing madness that is this travelling party.

Anyway. I got wounded in the shoulder by an axe, but we dealt with the zombie guests. Nakomi healed me up by calling the spirits. At least that’s how she explained it.

I’m not quite sure what the others were up to in the lab, but we headed down there to join them. (After I had explored the house, and emptied a safe of $200. I mean it’s not theft – we were helping the guy out after his family caused events that killed a load of people – we totally should have had him arrested or something. $200 is a pretty acceptable fee.)

We had discovered a weird burial chamber beyond a secret passage inside the basement.

We met with the zombified body of Sigurd Ragnasson and two others. They were seeking Valhalla.. which had something to do with dying in combat. Nakomi challenged Sigurd to honorable combat. As their battle commenced, I took aim just in case things went south. Hades waited the whole of 7 seconds before throwing his card magic directly in to Sigurd’s face. He was absolutely obliterated as were the other 2 zombies over the following few seconds.

Raff was acting oddly. I think he was seeing things. I’m definitely going to keep an eye on him.

Sigurd had been guarding some kind of coffin, sarcophagus or whatever. The weird artefact we had been looking for was inside.

Gotta catch 'em all
and then kill them

We left the mansion and headed back in to town. As we were leaving the local saloon, some weird old guy approached us. He looked kinda like a wizard out of those old stories. He knew we had the magical vane thing and wanted to buy it. We refused. Well, Hades tried to get a good price for it, first.. I’m growing a little tired of his personality, being honest. Maybe Elric and I should branch out on our own again. Nakomi could come, she’s awesome.

Wizard turned out to be a pretty apt description as the old guy didn’t take no for an answer.. he threw some shells on the ground and somehow called forth more zombies. I don’t think he knew how experienced we are in this area. We dealt with them pretty easily and he teleported away.

Nearly a week passed. Our stagecoach arrived to take us back to Traverse City.

Whilst in town, we saw the sheriff dragging a criminal along towards the jail cells. A crowd had gathered which Elric managed to disperse. We followed them to the jail.

The criminal in question is called Jesiah Black. We claimed to be working on his behalf so that we could speak with him. He was in jail for multiple murders. The most recent being on Beaumont street. He claims they were all vampires, werewolves and other creatures. He is supposedly a monster hunter. He said that he has some goggles that reveal the true nature of people to him. He also claimed to have a wagon filled with gadgets and equipment out on the edges of town.

We took the goggles from the evidence box, after some sweet talking with the sheriff. They definitely have some weird magic spell on them, they make everything gross and distorted and people certainly look monstrous under them.. according to Elric.

We headed out to the wagon, and disarmed a few traps that had been left on it. Hades found a bestiary of the creatures Jesiah had been hunting. Elric found a stake launcher and decided it was appropriate to test it on a healthy horse. Man needs a smack.

We then made our way to Beaumont Street in Traverse City. We convinced the guard to let us in to investigate the murder scene of the young woman. Well, Elric did most of the investigating. The body was exceptionally pale, with garlic stuffed down her throat. It didn’t make much sense to me that a vampire could be taken by surprise, as it seemed this person had been. Maybe she wasn’t one? Once Elric started cutting things and dripping blood in to the body, he soon found himself arrested.

We see dead people
And we abuse them

Hades and Raft seemed to be going a little.. crazy. They were trying to intimidate a corpse. The corpse Elric had just been arrested for interfering with.. Yup. Crazy.

The dead woman’s mother arrived, her name was Eugene. She was very upset about what we, sorry -everyone apart from myself and Nakomi. were doing/had done to her daughter. The Doctor arrived also, and Nakomi helped him move the corpse to his office. Hades went off to the saloon, for gambling I presume.

I talked my way in to staying the night with the corpse – to be sure beyond all doubt that it was not a vampire. I assisted the Doctor (Doctor Delaney) with the autopsy.. nothing out of the ordinary happened.

I also found the opportunity to rummage through some previous case files about other victims of Jesiah. There were lots of cases where people had traits that could have made them seem unnatural to a lunatic. Hairiness, pointy teeth etcetera. The autopsies didn’t really make these clear, it could have been supernatural.. but it also may not have been.

Maxine Truth arrived in town the next morning. She prefers to be called Max. She was asking an awful lot of questions about Denver and the blood magic circle Elric accidentally used. We tried to cover for him.

Hades and Elric apparently had some grand plan to expose Eugene to sunlight to see if she was a vampire. Apparently, according to that hypothesis, she is not.

We went to speak to Jesiah again. He was still adamant that the goggles were real, and stated that a “wizard” gave them to him. We managed to get the Sheriff to understand the situation by allowing him to try the goggles on.

Outside, we bumped in to Mr Persons. He says our employer wants to meet us and he has invited us to a faculty ball in Kansas.

Somehow, Jesiah was able to kill himself as a gunshot was heard.. no gun was ever retrieved though. I wonder where Raft was?

We boarded the train for Kansas.

Sausage rolls
and science erections

Our stupid train arrived late! On today of all days. I had almost no time left to get ready for the party. Don’t these people understand how long it takes to get ready? There’s the bath, the shaving, and then the makeup and the laboriously intricate outfit!

I am reminded why I usually don’t bother with these things.

The first thing we noticed upon our arrival in Lawrence, Kansas is.. well, Mr Persons should really be called Mr People. There were.. a lot of him around. He met us at the station, and he was also our stagecoach driver.. He took us to a huge University building made out of wooden planks, as if it were actually some kind of art installation designed to look like a real University from England. The whole town looks like some kind of frontier town.. despite the University, it doesn’t really look too developed. I thought these guys were all scientists.

We met the Dean, who it turns out has been our employer all along. I am a little saddened by this development. I felt like we were doing serious work and now I’m not so sure. His name is Rockwell Chronister. A rather cheery little man. He invited us because he has a team of psychics, who suspect the party is going to be attacked. He had some of his faculty institute a magical field around the University that prevents guns from working. This was absolutely the worst idea in the history of ideas, actually scrat that, Elric has come up with worse.

Why was I even here! Without my rifle I’m just a woman with no fighting prowess and a bum leg. I should have just gone to the saloon for the night instead. Ah well, hindsight.

Apparently all the Mr Persons were popping about due to some quantum experiment going wrong in the quantum lab. Whatever that means.

There were rather a lot of members on staff. The names I managed to take were;

Dr Lovegood – Cybernetics professor
Dr Rachel Harold – Quantum Physicist
Dr Hawkmire – Defense against the dark arts professor and creator of the anti-gun field
Dr Livingstone – Anthropologist
Dr Lindman – Gambler, I don’t know what her actual job title is.
Dr Akage – Studies cheese, or something.

Raft, Nakomi and Hades went to talk to Dr Hawkmire about the anti gun field. Hades I am told knew this Hawkmire guy, from his childhood.

I was too busy getting ready for the party to keep up with most of the goings on.

The time for the party came about quickly.

Elric went to speak to Dr Lovegood, he was trying to get one of his arms replaced with a mechanical version. I think Dr Lovegood was capable of doing this, Elric seemed very… excited.

I took Nakomi’s hand and led her through the party. I wasn’t exactly well educated in how to act in these matters but I seemed to know more about it than she did. I drew rather a lot of attention in my dress, as I often seem to. I have a good fashion sense.

We engaged in small talk with various people, and faculty members as we drifted about. Dr Lovegood made me uncomfortable with all her patronizing speech about tribal matters and horses.

Chancellor Steinmeyer soon arrived to the party. (This was the guy who was shot in the psychics visions.)

The Chancellor mentioned to us something about “Those who know” as a group of people the wizard we had fought likely belonged to. A group of guys focused on magical things. Apparently a group called “The brass order”, who loved science, had been trying to poach scientists from the faculty staff.

I found a side table topped with the BEST sausage rolls.

I think Hades and Elric were fighting Dr Hawkmire in the side rooms, or something. I didn’t follow, and they haven’t really told me the whole story.

Those sausage rolls. I want the recipe. Did I tell you about the cherry cake? I think I gained 5 pounds in one night.

Worth it.

At some point here, Elric left to have his entire arm replaced with a mechanical monstrosity.

This was a thing that happened.


In reality.


I’m not joking.

A mechanical arm.

And he WANTED it.

A little later in to the party, Elric had returned with Dr Lovegood. The lights all went out. (Did I mention the lights were electric? No? Well they were and it was pretty cool!) And we noticed some guys sneaking in under the cover of darkness, dressed in dark cloth and wielding blades.


I TOLD THEM that an anti-gun field was stupid. I want a pay rise.

Everyone else dealt with the ninja guys real quick. I just fumbled around and ruined a stack of sausage rolls. And got stabbed.

I love Nakomi. She makes everything better.

I want to kill this Elric
and set fire to his corpse before stamping on it

After the proceedings at the party, Elric was taken ill. It seems to have taken a lot out of him to have that new arm attached.

The next day, 2 strange men approached us, Mr Jones and Mr Smith. They sounded Scottish. They had a discreet job to offer us, having heard of us due to our ever improving reputation. Improving?


The job had something to do with another version of Lawrence, something similar to the quantum parallel dimension thing Mr Persons has going on. Because we are sane individuals, we agreed. Next thing I knew, a bright flash of white light took over my senses and I was on a stagecoach with the others. I was certain that I was already in Lawrence, but now we were approaching it by stagecoach.

Our mission was to keep Elric safe. Not our Elric but Paralelric. This version of the universe has it’s own versions of certain people apparently..

I felt a bit lost, so did what time with Hades and Elric have taught me to do- I just shrugged and went with it. We were given a little gauge thingy to track how much of the timeline we had changed, because that is also now a thing.

This version of Lawrence was a lot smaller, it didn’t have the university and was most definitely more old fashioned. Frontier style. We head to what appears to be an engineering shop. The owner tells us that some German engineer guy lives to the east.

We head out in that direction and come across an old farm. We meet what appears to be Elric inside. He looks a little different, as if he was our-Elric‘s twin brother. I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. This version of Elric was not fond of weapons, he was in to “aetheric science”. I wanted to put my head in a trough. This place is weird.

Paralelric says there is a cattle baron attempting to buy out his land, and he fears force for not complying. Raft heads out to check the area and I set up on top of a windmill. I didn’t say this, but it was mostly to get away from the nonsense I seem to have found myself a party to. It was a lovely little spot to collect my thoughts and take in some peace and quiet.

At the scheduled time, the cattle baron and his goons attacked. Myself and Raft opened fire, taking a chunk of them out before they even got close. I took my time, and aimed directly for the leader. I blew a hole clean through his head. The rest of the attackers fled. Nakomi later healed the guy to try and talk to him, but that was fruitless so she bashed his skull in.

We then head out to the local saloon. We took Paralelric with us. It turns out, this version of Elric is incredibly annoying. Every time he opens his mouth I want to shoot him in it. Not only is he annoying, but he’s as inept as a drunk badger trying to fly a plane during a windstorm on christmas night, with a blindfold and no arms.

I hope none of this negativity finds itself transferred on to our Elric.. hm..

Nakomi beats some guy, Dicky, at arm wrestling. He then challenges Raft to a duel, which Raft wins with ease, disarming the poor fool.

I beat Nakomi in a drinking contest.

Dicky ran off, having lost at just about everything he tried competing at.

A strange priest bust in to the saloon, claiming it was time for a lottery. A lottery it turns out, in which the winner gets murdered by a magical ghost train in the same fashion as Urias Thornden over in our universe. Hades’ fixed the results with his magic, and Dicky was sacrificed, handy, as his mother was a major crime figure in town and would have wanted to kill Paralelric otherwise.

Me and Nakomi took Paralelric home. He nearly killed himself just climbing up the stairs.

I want him to die.

I want to crush his skull with my rifle.

I want to shoot him with my pistol.

I want to stab him with my knife.

I want to push him out the window.

I want to hire a train, tie him to the tracks, and run him over.

I want to force him to choose between auto-erotic asphyxiation and dynamite up the ass.

These thoughts are so out of character for me. I don’t know why I’m having them.

I just really want to kill this Elric.

I want my Elric back.

(We then headed home, mission complete. Apparently there’s a rogue person in the time stream screwing things up.)


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